Get out of the Way!

Are there some things that you are waiting on the Lord to supply? However, when you shared your desire with a confidant they said to you, "Get out of God's way!" Well, I think sometimes we minimize that phrase and do not look at its context in its entirety. In order not to be a barrier for a blessing takes several steps and there are several questions that you must ask yourself. Question 1: What am I doing that could be a barrier for my blessing? Question 2: Where am I going that could be a barrier for my blessing? Question 3: What am I thinking that could be a barrier for my blessing? Question 4: Who am I with that could be a barrier for my blessing? Question 5: What am I saying that could be a barrier for my blessing? Take these questions into consideration and I will spend the next 5 postings dealing with these questions individually. Reflection is powerful and is the sources of change.

When You're Smiling...

"Smiling does not mean that you're not going 'through', but it could simply mean that you can see yourself on the other side 'through', and you look better than you did before you started going 'through'."

Have you ever been through a situation and you really did not know how to handle it or have the skills the cope? Did you find it difficult to smile? Well, I dare you smile anyway. Smiling, liking happiness, is a choice. Even when your dealing with difficult challenges, I encourage you to smile. Others can measure your strength or weakness based on your smile and can dictate what position they will take with you depending on your disposition. Smile before, during or after you go through a tough circumstance. You put your trust and faith in the One and in the power that has been given to you. You will come to the realization that the purpose for you to going "through" is to prepare you for what is on the other side of "through". Smiling signifies your confidence in the process which will add to the enlargement, enhancement and enrichment of life as you pursue your goal of fulfilling your purpose.

It's Time to Receive the Exceeding...

All that's broken can be healed and I am grateful that we serve a God that possesses restoration power, not just to restore that which was lost or desired, but who will do it in such an amazing manner that the matter which was miserable will manifest into a miracle that will minister to those who bear witness. "There is something that you have been wanting that is on the way because now it is the will of the Most High. Never give up on your Season of Exceeding Expectancy" - C. Holmes

Still Covered...

"Even when you don't feel blessed, you need to understand that you're still covered. Although, you didn't get what you desired, you didn't acquire what you deserved."- C. Holmes

Give the Best of YOU!

Many times we spend time trying to out do or "outshine" others. That should not nor was every designed to be the goal of life. I believe that life was not designed for that purpose. Here is my thought for the next couple of days. "We were not designed to be THE BEST, but we were called to GIVE our best. When you give your best you will then be able to BE THE BEST YOU that you were called to be. That alone will cause you to be THE BEST to HIM." - C. Holmes

Sometime your Best is All You Got...

"When all else fells and you don't have the right option, stand firm and go with your best option." - C. Holmes

Having a Vision is Enough to Believe in it

"Identifying the who, what and how doesn't change the vision for the why and the expectaion of when." - C. Holmes It doesn't matter how the odds may seem stacked against you because all you're waiting on the opportunity to step into the possible to make your dreams probable. Your vision itself is simply enough to be encouraged.

No time for Doubt...

"Doubt will lead you to a dead-end of disaster, but hope will take you down the boulevard to new beginninsg." - C. Holmes

Knowing When Your Life Is In Conflict

"To take your life to the next level, you can't physically and professionally be at the mountain top while you are emotionally and spiritually in a valley low. If this is the case, then you your life is in conflict." - C.Holmes If you work and nurture your spirit, it will feed your mind to guide decisions that will create the opportunities that are designed specifically for you.

Answers to Your Questions

"Many of the reasons why we continue to ask the same questions is due to the fact we never position ourselves with the power to create an environment to hear the answers."-C. Holmes

Under not Over...

"You will never get over if you continue to make poor decisions that keep you under." - C. Holmes

Belief and Faith are a Perfect Couple.

Why is that some of our plans and desires never come together? I have a suggestion. There are two components to suggest. Belief and Faith. Belief, in my mind, relies more on what you bring to the table. Have you been well organized, diligent, committed, focused and driven to accomplish those things that you have set out to accomplish. Wikipedia defines belief as "a state of the mind, treated in various academic disciplines, especially philosophy and psychology, as well as traditional culture, in which a subject roughly regards a thing to be true." If this is true, it is your belief in yourself that is at the helm of your behaviors. That is great, but it is not belief alone that completes a vision. You also need a person, or persons, that believe in you and want to support your vision. While others around you believe, you in turn have to have faith in those people. First you have to connect with the appropriate person(s). Be very specific with whom you surround yourself. Be sure that these people are genuine and exhibit those same qualities that you possess. Once they have shown themselves to be aligned with who you, then release the scrutiny and judgement and learn to trust them. Once you decide that someone is on "your team", you have to have faith in them. Wikipedia defines faith "confidence or trust in a person, thing, deity, view, or in the doctrines or teachings of a religion". You can't do it all alone. We were not designed to be solely sufficient on our own capabilities. If that were true why are we all here. Others are here to provide opportunities that you could never independently provide and also confirm ideas/dreams to help guide your decisions. All things work together for the good of those... Have belief in what you can do, but also have faith in what others are here to do for you.

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Am I whole, am I worthy, do I matter?

These are the three questions that drive our behaviors, how we feel, they way we think and how we interact with others.

You Have To Change.

"I am so tired of being in the same situation and not getting anyway. I feel like every time I turn I around I keep going in circles. I seem to never any thing accomplished. One day things are going to change. I am just going to be patient." How many times have you said these words or heard someone else say something similar. Well the truth is that people DO want change in their lives and they are honest when saying they are tired of being in the same place or circumstances. The other reality is that they ARE willing to wait until the change comes. However, on the other side of those truths is the fact that the circumstance probably won't change. Why do you ask? The answer is simple. In order for the situation or circumstance to change something or someone has to change it. People DO NOT want to change. Newton's 1st Law of Motion says that an object at rest will stay at rest and an object in motion will stay in motion unless an external force is applied. Some of our lives are in a resting position. There are all types of forces being applied to our lives but our own force does not over power these external forces. Until your desire seizes your actions and thoughts you will never be a position for acceleration but will always remain at rest. What force are you exerting on your life to bring change? You have to be the change agent. That force of change. Change has to be initiated, not fabricated. Don't pretend to change. When a change occurs it will be evident to others because they will see new outcomes and new insights revealed.

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Acting Out of Character

When was the last time you did or said something that shocked others and yourself.I am no expect but I believe every behavior that we engage in is a part of who we are. These actions many times can be embarrassing which is why they seem to be abnormal or or of character. Some behaviors we suppress and others we highlight in certain environments. Psychologists DeSteno and Valdesolo argue,"Your character isn’t a stable set of traits, but rather a shifting state that is subject to the constant push and pull of hidden mechanisms in our mind.  And it's the battle between these dueling psychological forces that determine how we act at any given point in time."psychologists DeSteno and Valdesol. It is great to know know of all of our tendencies both consistent and inconsistent in order to monitor those behaviors that enhance us and those that minimize or quality of life. So even when your "out of character" you are really in character. Know yourself.

Remember When...

Sitting on a bus chaperoning a trip full of kids causes me to reflect when I was young. At some point you were young or younger. Think about all the immature things you said and did. It's so refreshing to think about your own personalgrowth and journey you have been on so far. Thank God for growing up, growing stronger, growing wiser and browsing better than before. But what if you're exhibiting some of the same immature behaviors? If you reflect and realize that you are not in a season of growth, answee this question "What is keeping me in this constant season that I'm in?" When your season seems to be eternal you need not look at the external (your environment) but at the internal. You can set the tone for your atmosphere if you do desire. It's great to remember when because it helps to understand who you are and how you entered this season. But even in a season of productivity, do not be complacent. Be even more driven and goal-oriented. Think about the difference between forgetting and remembering for a later time.

Guilt versus Shame

We carry lots of emotions around on a daily basis . Sometimes short lived and others long term. But what are we carrying around? Is it guilt or shame? What is the difference? Websters’ defines guilt as “a bad feeling caused by knowing or thinking that you have done something bad or wrong”. It defines shame as “a feeling of guilt, regret, or sadness that you have because you know you have done something wrong”. So, what is the difference? Guilt is based on an action while shame is who you believe you are. For example, when you lie to a friend/partner or cheat on a spouse/mate or maybe even decide not study and fail an exam. The outcomes of all these examples are based on behaviors and none of these instances are defining actions. It does not mean you are a liar, or a cheater or a failure. The problem arises when you began to carrier these emotions around long term. When this is done the outcome is a feeling a shame. To delve even further brings out the belief that not only do you become what you have done, but you also assume that others know what you have done. This is not the case. What happens is that you allow your deep shame to be so transparent that you give off an obvious aura that its exact nature might not be apparent to an observer, but the weight that you carry around distracts, deters and misleads others from your true character. You began to attract others that carry shame. Misery does love company. Now these two heavy hearts continue to inquiry about each other’s heaviness, while really never trying to find a remedy but rather an enabler. Who or what are you attracting? Don’t let what you do, or did, define who you are. When you allow circumstances to label you, you confine your potential. Confining your potential limits your possibilities. Limiting your possibilities lead to a life that is unfulfilled and full of regrets. Guilt is pervasive because we are not perfect. We will make mistakes over and over and over. But the great thing is that these are actions. Webster’s defines actions as “a thing done”. Done meaning something in the past. Let mistakes right where they belong: in the past. Forgive yourself, and move on. Think better, do better and be better. It is the journey of life. Not just for you but for all of us.

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Use Your Time Wisely!

Every moment is so precious and at times we take time, itself, for granted. Within the time that we have been given there are so many things and so many people that should occupy our time. We should not be consumed with frivolous activities or persons that lack value and purpose. For the last few days I have filled my time with people that mean so much to me. They give me purpose and life and love and the foundation for my existence. Take the time that you have and use it wisely. "We must use time wisely and forever realize that the time is always ripe to do right." - Nelson Mandela

Today is the day...

What have you been holding of on doing until later, or next week, or next month or maybe even next year. It could buying a house, or starting your next degree or even your first. Maybe starting a relationship or ending and old one. It could even be getting married or starting a family. Well guess what? Today is the day to get it done or get the ball rolling? Why do we plan do things tomorrow what we can do today? We plan tomorrow as if we know what tomorrow holds. Nothing is promised and even plans aren't planned in the big scheme of things because there are so many factors that contribute what, when and how we get tasks accomplished in our lives. So let today be your day and even if you don't achieve the goal at least you started. You can't worry about finishing a project until you worry about starting it.

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Pancake Personalities

Some of us can come across so tough and so strong on the outside. Many times your personality has a way of intimidating or discouraging people from establishing healthy relationships you or getting to know who you really are via interpersonal interactions. I call this a version of a pancake personality.Let me be the first to tell you that until you change the way you think and the way that you behave, you will have very limited genuine joy, pleasure and peace. So, why do I describe these people as having pancake personalities? Well if you think about the worst pancakes that you have had, perhaps they were thick and dry and maybe not thoroughly cooked leaving a bit of batter in the inside. There are people like that. These people display a thick, tough exterior, but are not complete in personality or desires or maybe even beliefs. When you interact with these personalities it leaves you with a feeling of repugnance. The next time you observe pancakes, or people, of this nature you become very hesitant to approach and timorous to taste or digest. The only way we can ensure that we ourselves don't develop this type of pancake personality is to be deliberate when we endure situations, to ensure that we do not make a pancake batter out of the situation that is impenetrable to the heat of life. Here are the steps to being a better pancake: 1. Know what can kind of batter your working with. Have you really gotten yourself in a "pickle" of a situation? This would indicate that you batter is heavy and lack fluidity. This batter takes a lot more effort to infuse all the ingredients which translates into more time needed to process or identify all the components involved in the problem. 2. Spread your pancake as thin a possible. When you spread your batter thin, you will increase the heat to surface area ratio of your problem. Expose it to as much heat as possible. Put it in the fire (this is for a later post). This translates that into you dealing with the issue. Not just some of the issue but all the issue so that when put it in the past you have peace about it and are not harboring any deep seeded anger or sadness about the decision you made or how you allowed others' decision toward or about you affect you. 3. Don't flip too fast. All sides of the pancake need a certain amount of heat but the first side needs the most attention.This translates into dealing with the cause of your quandary. This could also correspond into people as well. Sometimes when move to fast and look over the initial cause of a problem and want to deal with the flip side, which is the effect. The cause and the effect need to be evaluated. Unfortunately, the cause could sometimes be you. That's OK, as long you recognize it and hold yourself accountable for your role. 4. Don't be afraid of the heat. Heat serves a significant component in tough dilemmas. Heat loosens up unpleasant circumstances. In this pancake analogy, when left on the heat long enough, you can see through the batter. The heat allows the situation to be transparent to the point of identifying the source. I can assure you that by completing steps 1,2,3 and 4 will make yourself more attractive, approachable and desirable to others. Nobody wants a thick, choking pancake. I like mine think, fluffy, with well defined edges and able to be covered in syrup without soaking it all up. When your personality (pancake) is just right is it obvious because when you are "covered" it makes everything taste that much sweeter.

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When You Cry...

I heard a great sermon today and the most profound statement that has resonated with me all day that states "When you cry out to a friend, that is called whining. But when you cry out to God, that is called worship. - Moses Herring, Sr." Selah, which mean stop, pause and think. This statement is something that is worth of Selah. We spend unproductive time telling our friends all about our worries, problems and concerns. I have said for years that the only person that really cares about your problems are you. This may seem like a hard, cold statement, but it is a reality. I only say this because your friends have issues of their own and if it came down to solving their own problems or expending energy on yours; They will surely choice their own. Crying, whining, to a friend will not end in a resolution to a deep rooted concern that seems to stop the flow of life. However, crying to God can. He has problem-solving power. Even if you are not a Christian that can relate to the previous thought, crying out simply should awaken something within you and recalibrate the strength that has become depleted over time and experiences that weaken our ability survive and cope. I encourage you to cry out. Crying does your spirit well and releases those things that may hold you fixated. But remember, everyone is not concerned about your cries. Cry out to the God of the universe or cry out to the god within you. When you cry you will find your power. And remember it's always appropriate to Selah.

Against All Odds...Believe

So, let me first start by saying there is a lot of crap TV out there, but there are also so great shows that are very informative and can be life alternative if you open your mind and receive the message that's being presented. I say that you say this, "You can only go as far as you allow your imagination to flourish. Despite the conditions that surround you, the barriers that block you or the haters that try to hinder you: Nothing is impossible. Be careful of the thoughts that are in your mind because those thoughts are your limitations. If you believe that you won't find a fruitful, adult relationship then you won't. If you don't think that your smart enough to be successful in a certain area of your life, chances are you won't. Doubt can equal death. My grandmother used to say, "you gotta name it and claim." I follow that mantra to this day. You have to work towards those things that you desire. However, working without worth is worthless. So the questions that you have to ask yourself is "Am I hindering myself?" Your beliefs release energy into the atmosphere that others around you can sense. If people began to withdraw from you than gravitate towards you, it could be the energy that you are producing.

No Matter What, Keep It MOVING!

Don't let people, problems or impossibilities stop you moving. Even when you're not going in the desired direction keep it moving. You can always make a right, left or u-turn. But if you sit on your butt, you'll just get run over. Don't be road kill this year. Get in the driver's seat.